Respira Tu Amor

The RBDSM Conversation: Tips for Setting the Stage for a Great Pre-Date Experience

RBDSM conversation the ultimate tool for a healthy relationship

Before I stumbled upon these tools like RBDSM, my dating strategy was like trying to assemble IKEA furniture without the instructions—lots of confusion and missing pieces! I used to jump into relationships headfirst, hoping everything would magically fall into place without discussing the important stuff like feelings, desires, and my bizarre collection of novelty socks.

It was like driving blindfolded on an emotional rollercoaster, hoping I wouldn’t crash into misunderstandings or awkward moments. But once I started embracing open communication and setting clear boundaries, it was like finding the cheat code to relationship success. Suddenly, discussing the merits of cheesy pick-up lines or debating the best way to eat a taco became part of the fun.

The meaning of RBDSM

Just in case you are not familiar with the RBDSM Conversation = the most important conversation to have before you are intimate with another.

RBDSM stands for Relationship, Boundaries, Desire, Sexual Health and Meaning. And also, I would like to add Aftercare.

Now, whether it’s bonding over our shared love for bad puns or negotiating who gets the last slice of pizza, communication has become my relationship superpower. It’s not just the icing on the cake of love—it’s the extra sprinkles, the whipped cream, and maybe even a cherry on top!

How can the RBDSM Conversation can help you?

Now I would like to give you some examples of what can you ask in every aspect of RBDSM as a communication tool and what possible answers to expect from the other person, so you can know how this works.

R= Relationship

What is your current relationship status?

For example:

  • “I am single.”
  • “I am in a monogamous relationship with an open container.”
  • “I am in an open relationship.”
  • “I am in polyamorous relationships with XYZ agreements.”

B = Boundaries

What are the boundaries of this time together or going forward ?

You can answer something like:

  • “No penetration.”
  • “No bruises.”
  • “I am Keeping my clothes on today.”
  • “Penetration only with a condom.”

D = Desire

What are your desires for this time together or going forward?

Maybe you want something like:

  • “More foreplay and for you to kiss my whole body.”
  • “I desire to go on more dates with you.”
  • “I would like you to be slow with me.”
  • “I’d like you to hold my neck and bite me.”
  • “I desire to explore kink.”

S = Sexual Health

When was the last time you had a STI test?

  • “Have you had a test and what did you find?”
  • “If there was anything positive, what measure are you using?”
  • “Do you use condoms?”

M = Meaning

What is the meaning of this connection?


  • “I am looking to explore.”
  • “I am looking for more connection.”
  • “I am not looking for a relationship.”
  • “This is some fun. I want to journey deeper with you.”

A = Aftercare

This is a bonus. What do you need after being intimate?

For example:

  • “I want to be held and cuddled afterwards.”
  • “I want you to stay here with me.”
  • “I want you to check in on me a few days afterwards.

Communication is one of the most underrated and important pieces of a relationship that builds trust and ease.

So don’t forget, transparency is sexy. 🔥

Mariposa (Ana Cristina Alcalde)

Mariposa (Ana Cristina Alcalde)

Founder of RESPIRA TU AMOR, a lifestyle where we change lives from the Root using Tantra, Breathwork and yoga.